PREDO: You've been entered into this year's tournament under a shroud of secrecy. What can we expect from your prediction style?
MYSTERY PREDICTOR: My philosophy is to never predict a tie as it's demoralising, so God willing I'm hoping for a 33% accuracy rate.
PREDO: Those who know you, MP, say that you're not actually made of flesh and bone and are, in fact, some kind of mass of energy and light. Care to elaborate?
MYSTERY PREDICTOR: Yes, a gaseous/nebulous inert mass of energy created at the inception of time.
PREDO: That's interesting. And yet this offers you no foresight of our human events?
MYSTERY PREDICTOR: For the purposes of this prediction game which I have no access to and can't be certain exists I am bound to linear time.
PREDO: That is reassuring to know for our competitors. Finally, MP, I wondered if you could perhaps speak a little about Mo Salah.
MYSTERY PREDICTOR: My Mo Salah has lit the whole world (insert at least 3 fire emoji here if your platform supports it) and made fans of people who would otherwise spit on the game like me. Very hard to overstate what he means to my people. Also I really hope he signs a new contract as his shirt cost me £55.
PREDO: Thank you for your time, Mystery Predictor.
MYSTERY PREDICTOR: Thank you, can I just finish by saying when my wife learned how much it cost she said "that's candle money!", which says more about how much she spends on candles, I hope the other predictors agree.
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