PREDO PROFILES #3: NEIL O

For the month leading up to World Cup Predos, we will profile the runners and riders in a series of intimate interviews. This episode features enigmatic Lancastrian playboy Neil Oted, known to those in law enforcement as Richard Q Smalls.

PREDO: What are your thoughts going into World Cup Predo?

NEIL: Well Predo, I’m expecting it to be a World Cup of two halves. Each of those halves will itself be split in two. What that means for the lads is anyone’s guess but as far as I’m concerned, I predict VAR will be the winner. Do we have VAR for predos? If not, I predict prob Benno will win.

PREDO: What do you make of rumours that World Cup Predo is to be taken over by Big Prediction? 

NEIL: All for it tbh. If I can get a £5 discount on my acca through a canny tie in with Sky Bet then I don’t see a downside really. 

PREDO: Who do you see as your main rivals going into the tournament? 

NEIL: I wouldn’t say I have rivals really, it’s not that sort of contest. Enemies though: everyone.

PREDO: you finished near the bottom end of the table at Europredo, Neil. How do you intend to get near the sharp end of the contest? 

NEIL: If I don’t predict 0-0 for all groups games in protest at the terrible meaningless contest they were, I should fare better. Unless they all finish 0-0 and in which case I’m done with football forever for 6 months. 

PREDO: Finally, do you agree that it is okay for a small business like World Cup Predo to utilise entirely legal tax loopholes to protect its shareholders and their dividends? 

NEIL: Totally. When the revolution comes they’ll need someone to build that wall - and the smart businessman always has his bricks.