After the final two games (Belgium-England saw a perfect OCHO score from Barlow, whilst the unpredictable final was only predicted by the dice on behalf of Mazher Mahmood), we can soon take down the bunting and streamers and reflect on another great year for Predo. The best? That's not for I, Predo, to decide.
We must wrap up the business of the final scores. I hand you over to a full reverse-order countdown by the brother of fabled tipster Cornelius Lysaght, Derek, who will assess the performance of every competitor.
Tied scores separated on OCHOs scored, then a countback of best recent performance.
34th DICE MAN 105 (1.64 points per predo)
the perfect result for the humans in World Cup Predo, showing that all are at least better than chance. Relegated into the Google+ League. VERDICT: expected.
33rd MAZHER MAHMOOD aka MYSTERY PREDICTOR 141 (2.203ppp)
the epiphenomenalist tournament's epiphenomenalist, his supermarket kept us all amused even when his predos did not pan out. a late tournament beef with the organisers may see him not return in 2020. VERDICT: fine
32nd ROSIE 150 (2.34ppp)
after a slow start and some misfortune, Rosie appeared mid-table bound. However, 1 point over the final 5 matches saw her dangle dangerously close to the foot of the table. VERDICT: mixed
31st DAY 153 (2.39ppp)
stellar navigation of the predo ship aside, a drop from the mid-table security of Europredo suggests Day has to be disappointed with this outing. Finishing behind all siblings and Mark will take some serious psychiatric recovery. VERDICT: mediocre
Predo managed to speak to Day about the tournament and perhaps the shock had not fully settled in:
30th ALEXX 154 (2.41ppp)
Certainly it can be said that Alexx fell away from a comfortable mid-table slot, but continuing on in the spirit of personal upheaval suggest Alexx could be a force to be reckoned with in two years time. VERDICT: middling.
Predo got a word with Alexx after the tournament as he relaxed on holiday in the good old US of Stateside.
29th MARK 154 (2.41ppp - tiebreak separated on countback)
Had you offered Mark "not last" at the outset he would have snatched your hand off. Indeed, signs of the Bad Old Mark were there throughout: outlandish predictions, dwelling at the foot of the table, claims to have gone off the deep end. But Mark finished with head held high and with new found respect from his predo buddies. VERDICT: still shit.
28th DAVID "MANAGER" WILSON 157 (2.45ppp)
Inarguably the most vexing predoer in 2018. A system of favouring the dice for scorers when faced with the clear reality that dice-predicted scorers were rare and that a man made of dice was clearly in last place was infuriating. VERDICT: annoying.
27th HAZEL 158 (2.47ppp)
Controversy abounded when Hazel entered the tournament late with an award of points that placed her well above the bottom-ranked players. Sufficient time has passed with good predo sense to keep Hazel well above water, leaving those carping the Predo Panel with red faces. VERDICT: justice.
26th MARK "LAWRO" LAWRENSON 159 (2.48ppp)
He swans about like the king of predtown but he can't even rank top 20 here. Get knotted. VERDICT: eggfaced.
25th OLLY 160 (2.5ppp)
Mid-table at Europredo, Olly will claim his slide downtable was because the players didn't do as he expected. A fair explanation, and who could doubt it? VERDICT: obdurate
24th PREDO THOMAS 163 (2.54ppp)
Too little too late for the predo group convener. Mercurial for tight fixtures, curiously hare-brained for easy gets. Of course, organising such an enterprise is to be applauded. But maybe next time Predo should spent less time chiding and more time getting things right. VERDICT: deflating.
23rd NEIL OTED 165 (2.58ppp)
For some reason people had been talking up Oted's chances and history as a big player, and his early tournament play seemed to back this up. A quick check of the history books shows that this is his best big tournament performance to date. VERDICT: envelopes.
22nd LIAM 166 (2.59ppp)
Always sad when a player in the top 5 early on dies away, but this is a simple repeat of Europredo form for Liam, who must now go away and consider addressing stamina issues. VERDICT: tired
21st D FOX 167 (2.61ppp)
The stats for the final quarter of play don't lie: only 30 points scored for D Fox, highlighting the cliff-face dropped off from a strong position at the halfway mark. Happy to be second (or 21st) best, clearly. VERDICT: on the beach
20th COTTY SENIOR 170 (2.66ppp)
After a slow start, the elder of the Cotty Family started to show his class into the final quarter of play. A double OCHO will be remembered by predo fans for years to come. VERDICT: Everton.
19th RAVEN 170 (2.66ppp) - Raven finishes higher on OCHO countback
An incredible start by our Virginian friend, tossing out OCHOs left and right, reverted to unspectacular play. Some will say the drama of wanting to be the tournament bad guy, squashing the fun of the English cohort, backfired. Nonetheless, Raven announced himself as a fierce warrior of predo. VERDICT: England.
18th ANDREW S 172 (2.69ppp)
The person most surprised at this position was possibly Andrew himself. Anyone taking the longer view will see a solid predictor sometimes set adrift on the vicious waves of chance, inevitably bouncing back to mid-table through talent. VERDICT: mean.
17th SIMPO 174 (2.72ppp)
The dark horse for the title at the bookies remained like so many dark horses of World Cups of yore; a nag. This is harsh, of course. Simpo's strength was not in OCHOs, but simplicity and consistency. A little flair and derring-do could see this dark horse a thoroughbred at Europredo 2020. VERDICT: 'mare.
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| the winner of the Marc Janko Award for the Most Consistently Disappointing Predicted Scorer: FYODOR SMOLOV (Rus) |
16th ANDREW H 177 (2.77ppp)
Navy socks, lemon shorts, teal tank top with cerise cadet stripe: his presence said l'homme du predo (man of predo). Went up and down the table like a dad into an attic at Christmas, but ultimately lands on his just desserts. VERDICT: calm.
15th ML 178 (2.78ppp)
Another 'big name on paper' who couldn't find his arse with his hands in the back straight. 8th at the 75% mark, ML lost velocity like a tennis ball hit into an elderly man's garden. VERDICT: disappointment
14th SPEEDIE 181 (2.83ppp)
To be clear: the bookmaker's favourite at the start of play. His good humour, easy way with a clear-headed predo in a thicket of opinion, and accumulation of points stood Speedie in good stead. The jig was up after day 8, when a slight deficit turned into a small chasm. Speedie was unable to leap and the damage was done. VERDICT: wonga
13th NEIL TWITTER 181 (2.83ppp) - Neil finishes higher on countback
A sparsely-educated immoralist from a nation stacked with them Neil may be, but Neil showed his street fighting credentials from the moment he woke up and decided to start playing. Now officially the USA's #1 predo king. VERDICT: stars.
12th COTTY JR 188 (2.93ppp)
How the world collectively held its breath in the second week as Cotty Jr was the only player in the top reaches with an unplayed joker. Played well, it could have seen Cotty rip the field apart. Though it scored 10, it was too late and the peloton swallowed him up. That he spent the rest of the tournament ruing this decision shows how on small moments great predoers win and lose. VERDICT: jokered.
11th BARLOW 188 (2.93ppp) - Barlow finishes higher on OCHOs
A late entrant whose early scores were awarded by dice, it perhaps augurs well for future tournaments that Barlow could get into the upper-third. A final PPP of 2.93 is higher than Jude won Europredo with, showing the class of this field. VERDICT: above average
10TH ROB 191 (2.98ppp)
Rob's tenacity was matched only by his field-eventer style method, waiting for the last possible moment for the wind to be as good as it can be before launching down the runway of predo. Rob deserves top 10 for having read the rules in advance; that he earns it on merit is all the sweeter. VERDICT: good boy
9TH BRYAN 192 (3ppp)
Pundits spoke before the tournament, dreaming whether the magical 3ppp mark could be broken. Well, here is Canada's Bryan, equalling that sacred mark and he's down in ninth. Even more disappointing? He didn't even achieve his dream of besting Jude. Next time, Gadget. VERDICT: thrilling.
8TH ANDO 193 (3.02ppp)
Even though Ando finished top ten and broke the magical 3ppp mark, he is set to be regarded as one of the co-architects of the greatest predo tournament ever played. His innovations: SPREADOVAR, which eliminated human error in scoring, made for a tournament free of corruption. A strong second half also suggests that Ando's only real issue was getting used to such a high level after a career spent in the lower leagues. VERDICT: Allardyce.
7TH JUDE 194 (3.03ppp)
What can be said? On paper, this is a disappointing finish. Our European Champion only 7th, bested by friends and relations. And yet, his own game was raised. Perhaps his pre-tournament boastfulness allowed elite predictors to find their A game. He will not be pleased at this result, but Jude remained a factor throughout. VERDICT: Liverpool.
Predo caught up with a defiant Jude for a chat:
6TH TOM H 197 (3.08ppp)
An improvement on Europredo's 7th place for the north-eastern Nostradamus, and with a raised PPP into the bargain. Tom H remains predoworld's N'Golo Kante, ticking along, unshowy, allowing the diamonds around him to shine. VERDICT: box-to-box.
5TH BENNO 197 (3.08ppp) - Benno finishes higher on OCHOs
Predo's Most Hated Man or an eagle-eyed ruthless competitor with the will to win? Benno finished 5th at Europredo too, but what stands out here is Benno's raised game. The new record holder for points in a day and a champion getter of OCHOs. If only consistency were a string Benno could add to his bow, we'd be talking about a new champion. VERDICT: smug
Predo caught up with Benno for his verdict on the CROATIA CONTROVERSY:
4TH RANDY 198 (3.09ppp)
An industrious performance from Randy. Pre-tournament pundits suggested Randy was more invested in Fantasy World Cup, but his commitment shone through and by the end the Belfast Bruiser had dragged himself, for the first time ever, to a measure of respect from fellow humans. VERDICT: solid.
3RD ZAIREEKA 208 (3.25ppp)
A tournament rarity insofar as a mid-tournament interview featuring lots of boasting that didn't actually result in the humiliating crumble of its subject. After a bland start, Zaireeka found himself near the sharp end after the group stages, proving that predo tournaments reward fighters and staying the course. A bronze well-earned. An outstanding PPP and yet no win. VERDICT: 9/10
Predo spoke to Zaireeka, who offered a short statement:
2ND SAM 210 (3.28ppp)
In many ways the story of the tournament. Sam began Europredo incredibly well before tailing off. Many doubted her commitment, her energy, her drive, sometimes even her knowledge. Well, all those doubts are in the bin. Sam has finished second, well ahead of many so-called learned figures in predo. Long may she reign as Predo Queen. VERDICT: regal.
Predo spoke to Sam:
AND YOUR WINNER OF WORLD CUP PREDO 2018 WITH 218 POINTS FOR AN AVERAGE POINTS PER PREDO OF 3.41 IS BRENDAN
What can be said about Brendan's victory? A slip on day 4 saw Brendan move into mid-table. On recovering from this early aberration, Brendan comfortably moved through the gears and on taking the lead, never lost it. It's a ppp that will be on shirts and lunchboxes up and down the land. People cannot believe that one person routinely hit predo after predo. And yet it was real, and we all saw it. The double OCHO followed by the single OCHO. Four more OCHOs in the group stages. It was unreal predo play and alongside Bradman, Navratilova, Gretzsky, and Heskey will forever be the name: BREN. VERDICT: deserved.
Predo caught up with Bren for some final words:
Thank you Brendan for allowing us to dream again.
See you in 2020.
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